Vodacom : How may we help you?
Customer : This is Julius Malema and I haff a big problem with my phone bill.. My wife, she think I haffing an affair!
Vodacom : Okay Sir, and how can we help you with this?
Julius : My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman, but I never heard of her before.
You must please trace these calls for me.
Vodacom : Sir, I'm sorry but the bill won't actually tell you the name of the person you're calling, just their number.
Customer : This one does.
Vodacom : What phone do you have, Sir?
Customer : A mobile. I tell you this.
Vodacom : No, Sir, what make? What do you have in your hands?
Customer : An erection.
After a moment's silence, the gallant Vodacom worker continued.
Vodacom : Um, sir? Could you spell that for me?
Customer : For sure - E..R..I..C..S..S..O..N. - Erection.
Another moment's silence from Vodacom, and suddenly the penny dropped.
Vodacom : Sir? Can you spell Salulah for me?
Customer : For sure. C..E..L...L..U..L..A...R. - Salulah.